Could You Survive A Fist Fight With These Wyoming Animals?

Well, now you've done it.

You've wandered out into the Wyoming wilderness and found yourself face-to-face with its wildlife.

Don't try to outrun it, it's faster than you.

Don't try to climb a tree, whatever it is can probably climb too, including bears and wild cats.

OH, SHOOT you forgot to bring a "friend" who's slower than you.

You'll have to stay and fight.

What are your odds of surviving a fistfight with a mountain lion?

The chances of defeating a mountain lion alone and unarmed are slim to none if it wants you dead. But don't worry, you won't even know what hit you until it is too late. Mountain lions are ambush predators. You'll never see it coming. But if you are face to face, saying things you usually say to your house cat won't work.

You're too close. Your flight response is not going to help you here. Do you think you can take it?

Recently a survey was done asking people to look at 34 different animals. Of them, which do they think they could take in a fight?

Let's say you turn the corner and there is an Elephant. You might think, IN WYOMING? Well, we did have the wooly mammoth at one time, so why not? People gave elephants a 74% chance of winning.

Rhinoceros, in second place, also saw a 74% chance of winning.

It makes sense that not many people thought they could take a grizzly bear. That animal has a 73% chance of winning. HONESTLY, who are the other 27% that think they can take on a grizzly bear?

For some strange reason, 64% thought the polar bear could beat them in a fight. Does that mean 36% of people think they can take a polar bear? REALLY?

Also performing particularly well are tigers (70%), hippos (69%), lions (68%), and crocodiles (67%).

Only 14% of humans thought they would lose a fight to a goose.

Yet the video below shows that the goose probably wins every fight.

Apparently, most Americans aren’t confident in their fighting skills against nature. Then again, we freak out over tiny spiders.

Most Americans are convinced they could beat a rat (72%), a house cat (69%), and a goose (61%) in a fight. But that means 17-24% are sure they would lose that fight.

I'm pretty sure most Americans would lose almost every one of these battles, but then I've been shopping at Walmart too much. I see what Americans are like these days.

Do you think you could take that little yapping dog in your neighborhood? 

You'd think most people could take a medium-sized dog. However not even half (49%) are sure of this.

The bigger the dog the less confident people get. 23% of Americans think they could beat a large dog in a fight, with 58% being sure they would lose.

Personally, I'm not afraid of the big dog. It's those little yappers that freak me out.

One in five men thinks they could beat a chimpanzee (22%) or king cobra (23%) in a fight, while only 8-12% of women feel the same way.

The gap is biggest when it comes to medium-sized dogs (which 60% of men but only 39% of women think they could beat) and geese (71% vs 51%).

Americans in search of answers are well catered for: there is a book series, a video game battle simulator, and even a Discovery Channel documentary dedicated to establishing the outcome of hypothetical animal combat.

Actual video of a human beating a grizzly in a fistfight. (NO IT'S NOT!)

OKAY, maybe we could all use a few hints on how to take on nature when it wants to rumble.

I was looking for videos that might offer the worst advice on how to survive a bear attack.

WOW, did I find a DOOZY!

You can watch the video below.

You'll want to stick with the video because the more you watch the more bizarre it gets.

Honestly, the first few minutes I was thinking, 'Gee this looks like great advice.'

THEN IT GOT WEIRD!

That statement above is SO TRUE!

You can literally use anything you can think of and nobody is going to call you out for bad sportsmanship.

Just be warned that bears understand this too.

So expect the bear to fight dirty.

The good news is that you'll probably be able to think of more clever ideas on how to fight dirty than the bears. Unless you're frozen in panic, then the bear has the advantage.

Step 2 is actually good advice. Don't run. Bears love to chase things kind of like cats.

But I'm not so sure about this next step.

You'll just have to see what I mean by watching the video.

You can try to freak out the bear with puzzles and quizzes but most bears are pretty good at that kind of stuff.

DO NOT engage the bear in a game of Trivial Pursuit. You'll lose.

I'm betting I can beat a bear at chess. But maybe not checkers.

Step 11 only works if you have some back knowledge of the bear's personal life.

I'm not sure I'd go here because I don't know too many bears personally.

Then again you'd have to ask what the bear might know about you.

What if the bear has some dirt on you that outdoes the dirt you have on him?

NOW WHAT?

If all this seems odd, wait till you watch the video. It does not end the way you think.

SPOILER ALERT!

The end of the video takes you to the bear's home planet in the bear spaceship.

YEAH - told you it got weird.

The video is below. ENJOY!

OH and - don't take any of this advice. REALLY - don't.