Chili Today, Jail Tomorrow – Redneck Headlines

Booked Over Books

A New Mexico woman has signed on to Team Litigation – by suing her town for tossing her in jail due to an overdue Twilight book and DVD.

Cops entered Lori Teel's home a couple weeks back and slapped the cuffs on her over the two items, which were checked out of the local library back in October of 2010, but never returned. While overdue notices had been going out for over a year, Teel never received them because they were sent to the address of a group home she lived in as a teenager.

Teel's children were present at the time cops took her in, so she's suing on their behalf, saying they were traumatized and humiliated by the arrest. She's asking unspecified damages. (UPI)

Fight Club Meets Crap Club

A Florida man was arrested on misdemeanor assault charges after a fight in which he threatened to kick a neighbor's butt – as soon as he emptied his own.

Robert Gabriel Gernot was cursing out his own mother when a neighbor heard the nasty words and tried to intervene, leading the 53-year-old to turn his attention towards him. That argument became heated enough that cops arrived to break it up, at which point Gernot walked away, but yelled back, "When I get done taking a [dump], I am going to kick your [butt]."

That was enough to earn Gernot a trip to the pokey where, presumably, he got a cell that allowed him to fulfill that desire. (TCPalm)

Chili Today, Jail Tomorrow

An Ohio man got hot under the collar over some chili – and called 911 nearly a dozen times to let off some steam about his displeasure.

Christian Luckett was dissatisfied with the customer service at a branch of the Skyline Chili chain and decided to take his beef about the beef to the folks at Cincinnati's police dispatch unit. When the gasbag was informed that his actions were less than tasteful, he tried another route, calling back to report a domestic disturbance – then telling responding officers that his only disturbance involved that fast food order.

Luckett, who, not surprisingly, was described as intoxicated, was arrested at the scene. (Huffington Post)